We've all seen them--and if you haven't, where have you been?!
They're scary. They wear weird clothes. Or sometimes not enough clothes. Crazy clothes. Cross-dressing get-ups are the norm for many. Sandals and socks? No problem!!
Yes, these and many more folks epitomize the People of WalMart website. I've seen everything. And sometimes, I've seen too much for my own good.
But, I was cleaning out email the other day, and now I feel compelled to help you laugh.
So here they are...
People of WalMart--the Bridal Edition!!!
PS. Somewhere, in a backroom at Kleinfeld's, Randy Fenoli's head is exploding... :D
P.P.S. If you do have your own version of a POW wedding picture, and wish to share it, please let me know! I'd be happy to add it and give you credit! :D
This wedding may have been inspired by Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dream Coat...
Or perhaps they were just color blind...
Or maybe they were having a sale at the local Halloween Costume Shop...
Whichever it was--they're shiny, bright and unafraid--the perfect daredevil couple that laughs in the face of a 50% marriage failure rate in the U.S.
Hope springs eternal--let's hope this garb does not!
The bride looks lovely...
But it appears as if she's birthing her groom...
Let's console ourselves with the fact that the attire is somewhat normal--for a Walmartian bride and groom, anyway.
The Camo Tux. Especially useful if you plan on having a wedding outdoors and are looking to make your escape to the bar immediately after the wedding to watch the football game. :D
Because the best dressed person should be the bride--but in this case, let's hear it for Elvis!!
Please note: StarFleet did not approve of the groom's uniform.
For the budget-savvy bride and groom, a wedding on the beach is a classy and affordable option.
Cutoffs for the bridal party are optional...
Subtlety isn't this couple's "forte." That's why everyone has labels--so everyone knows who's the bride (please see the butt of her dress), the best man (please see the shirt at right), the groom (please check out the hat!), etc.
Wonder where's the groom's Monster-In-Law (I mean, Mother-In-Law)...
Because nothing says "I own you now!" like a pimp-tastic get-up...
But I dare say, there needs to be more bling!
Everyone loves a themed wedding. Star Wars was an obviously popular choice with this couple. However, one has to wonder why the Princess Leia getup went to the Maid of Honor behind them.
And if the bride should've been Princess Leia, the groom should've dressed like Jabba the Hut!...
But that's only because I believe when you go for a theme, you should go all out! :O
Continuing the themes: Ghetto Princess weddings are fabulous because they allow you the option to wear not only metallics, but a tiara!!
Remember folks--metallics are neutrals. Although I prefer to accessorize with metallics--not wear them across my chest.
This is the traditional gunshot wedding.
If you doubt it, check out the groom--could his soon to be MIL be giving him a dirtier look?
OMG! It's Legolas getting married!
But that doesn't look like Arwen... *LOL!*
If you're unfamiliar with Legolas/Arwen, didn't you see any of the Lord of the Rings movies? Well, it's time!! :>
This is the "I never expected to come back to get married... Someone please kidnap me before my wedding night!" face.
He does look scared $***less!! If I were him, I would be too!
Please, groomie, don't be so cheap! Really? Was there no money for at least a rented Yugo to transport the bride for the getaway?
To start the beginning of the end--a few of the "Never to be done at a wedding--even a WalMartian Wedding!!"
#1) The bridal kegstand--no matter how talented the bride...
#2) The cake smash--especially when it looks like everyone got a bloody nose...
*shiver!*
#3) Any cake that is a literal representation of the bride, well, that's just in bad taste.
Eating the bride? No thanks.
#4) The No-Underwear Bride
Attention all brides...
We all know you're ready to jump the groom...
But there's no need to announce it during the first dance--with his parents next to you!
#5) Exposing ALL the goodies!
Finally, for the bride that's obviously hammered when shopping for her dress...
The point is to get married--not to give the officiant a heart attack.
To say nothing of the groom's parents! *oy!*
